At Herbs4You, we believe that children’s mental and emotional health is very important. That’s why we created flower essence blends specifically for children! Childhood is a critical time to develop the tools they need to thrive as adults and become productive members of society. Many adults who are struggling physically, mentally, or emotionally can trace their problems back to their own childhoods. The stored emotions we carry as “baggage” as adults were often created during a painful experience we had as a child. During our youth is when we create a “rule book” for life, as well as how we view ourselves, others, and the world we live in. These deeper held thoughts stay with us and become the filter through which we see everything. This shows us how important it is for children to be able to effectively work through their thoughts and emotions so they do not learn to store or stuff them down, creating an inaccurate or dysfunctional filter.
With children, the laws of nature are in their favor because energy gains a momentum over time. This means that the longer we store emotions, the more difficult it is to release them. Energy that has been stored for many years will be heavier, more compacted, and more resistant to change. The energy within children can be easily changed because they are less “stuck in their ways”. This means that mental, emotional, and behavioral issues can be easily addressed. This also means that flower essences are very effective on children, as well as completely safe!
Speaking Their Language
Children have their own unique way of viewing the world. They do not yet have a developed prefrontal cortex, meaning they do not look at things logically or rationally. Instead, they operate mostly out of the amygdala- or the “fight or flight” emotional brain. They show us through their energy what they are thinking and feeling. We are able to tell what is going on at a deeper level by the energy they give off. If the energy is chaotic and disruptive, then they are off their energetic equilibrium and need to return in order to achieve health and vitality, as well as go on to develop more advanced skills, such as logic and reasoning skills. Without being balanced and therefore, not “safe” according to the amygdala’s fight or flight instinct, the child will likely struggle to learn and concentrate, follow directions, and manage their emotions.
As you can see from the chart below based off psychologist Erik Erikson’s work, children need to accomplish the task in each stage, or they become stuck in that stage, unable to move forward.
We have created two unique flower essence blends designed for children and teenagers. Let’s take a closer look at how they can help during these important life stages:
Catalpa: Comforts us when we experience any type of abandonment, separation, or loss, and reminds us that we are worthy of love.
The most common “baggage” from nearly every adult is the belief that they are not worthy enough to be loved based on messages they received in childhood from their family or society. This results in shame- the lowest frequency of all the emotions, which is the hardest energy to release.
Daisy: Helps us to calm our emotions when under stress and be able to think more clearly from the logical mind.
Children are always under stress because they are not in control of their lives and are not able to meet their own needs for survival, so they are entirely dependent on caregivers to meet their needs. Many times, children cannot communicate their needs because this is done in the logical brain, and instead, they communicate with their emotions. Adults often interpret this as “acting out” or being defiant of the adult’s control, and we typically punish or blame them. This activates the fight or flight response of the child even more.
Lily-of-the-Valley: Restores communication between the brain, heart, and gut so healing and awareness building can take place.
Without the line of communication between the body’s three processing centers, the body will not know where a problem is at and therefore cannot fix the problem on its own. The body is designed to heal itself, but it cannot do this when it does not know what the problem is.
Peony: Helps us to release our uniqueness out into the world, showing our true selves without fear.
Many children are scared to open themselves up to new experiences, places, or people. This is because the fight or flight instinct is telling that child that it is not safe to do so. This creates problems because the child learns to develop an inauthentic version of themselves to show others. This leads into adulthood causing further problems in relationships where they are not able to express their true feelings, wants, and needs.
Milkweed: Supports the transition period of learning who we truly are and becoming our true selves.
The teenage years are all about developing a personal identity so we know what path to take into our adulthood. This requires some “soul searching” to uncover who we truly are and what we truly want out of life. Without this identity development, we experience role confusion, and may end up “going down the wrong path”.
Spirea: Helps us to let our guard down and show others our true thoughts and feelings when we feel as though we must protect ourselves and not let others get too close.
Often times, teenagers are defiant and put up walls to block us out. This is because they feel as though they must protect themselves at all costs. They are at the cuff where they are craving more control over their own lives but are still restrained because they are not fully developed yet. Putting up firm walls is how they gain a sense of control. This cuts off communication and we feel as though their is no hope in getting through to them.
Strawberry: Helps feel pride and dignity when self-esteem is low, feel guilt-ridden, or feel unworthy of happiness.
Most of our “baggage” comes from the shame we felt as children for causing problems, not knowing sooner, not doing better, and so on. Whenever the child is shamed for something, this teaches them that they are flawed and not good enough. The child holds onto this belief about themselves and leads to feeling unworthy of the unconditional love they didn’t get. This leads to poor self-esteem, and causes many problems in adulthood such as addictions, relationship problems, and more.
Calendula: Helps us to feel emotionally stable and resilient when feeling weak, sensitive, unstable, or unsafe, especially in relationships.
The teenage years are a time when the brain is developing the prefrontal cortex, responsible for logic and reasoning. This is why teenagers seem to be irrational and impulsive. They do not have the logic and reasoning skills needed to make decisions, but they have very complex, adult-like emotions. If the amygdala is still signaling that they are in fight or flight mode, they will stay operating out of the amygdala. This causes problems because they see everything from a highly emotional perspective, rather than seeing it from a logical perspective. This causes them to become emotionally unstable because the brain makes inaccurate and irrational assumptions in this state, and they become co-dependent in relationships in order to achieve some sense of stability.
As caregivers, it is our job to make sure that the needs of the child are met. When we know more about the child’s needs during each stage of development, we can more appropriately respond to them. This leads to them trusting us and turning off their fight or flight response, which leads to them being regulated in their body. At Herbs4You, we offer many resources to help you better meet the needs of your child, bringing more happiness and harmony into your home. Contact us to learn more!
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About the Author
Laura Brudvig MA, NCC, IHAP, LC
Integrative Healing Arts Practitioner
Laura completed her Master’s Degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from USD. She is a National Certified Counselor, Life Coach, and Integrative Healing Arts Practitioner. She is currently working towards her certification as an Herbalist from the HomeGrown Herbalist School of Botanical Medicine.